Sleep

 As Tim suggested in his previous post, sleep has been fleeting lately.  My sweet little Jack easily nursed to sleep at bedtime and was down to just 2 or 3 feedings each night before we traipsed to the other side of the world and asked him to flip his only recently established world upside down.  (He did fantastic on the flights, by the way.)  Now we struggle to help him fall asleep at bedtime, and he wakes at least 6 times a night, asking to nurse each time.  Sometimes he also decides he wants to be awake for a couple hours even though it’s still dark outside.

When it comes to helping babies sleep in the United States, we are told that babies should sleep in a crib, not in the parents’ bed, and we often hear of the “Cry It Out” method.  That’s what I was taught was correct as a physician, and that’s what I told my patients to do.  Until I had Jack.  Then my perspective changed, as you parents might have expected.  From the start, we were happier bed sharing, against medical culture despite evidence that it can actually be safer than crib sleeping.  And I also couldn’t imagine allowing my sweet little boy to cry on his own and experience the confusion and terror of not understanding why momma or poppa was not coming to him.

Although Jack was not a good sleeper to start with, a tincture of time brought improvement until our move.  Now I am sleep deprived again, frustrated at my seemingly slow language learning, and annoyed by the need to go to bed at the same early hour as him, losing out on precious learning/reading/alone time/husband time.  As a result, last week in the middle of a few dark nights, I contemplated the “Cry It Out” method.  And then morning would come and, despite my fatigue, I would see Jack’s sweet, happy face, oblivious to the challenges of the prior night, and I would regret and feel guilty for even thinking of allowing him to cry all on his own.

But what to do?!  I do need good sleep at some point.  It may not be as critical right now, but once I start working in the hospital, I need my brain to function at its best!  Especially since its best never seems quite good enough in medicine, much less in a different culture, different language, different system, with different diseases.  

So  I downloaded a highly rated book called, “The No Cry Sleep Solution.”  Her solutions make sense but also take time.  Last night was the first night implementing some of the techniques.  Jack did fall asleep easier.  But we need to give at least 10 days, likely 20 or 30 days, to see any real impact.  Would you please pray over this seemingly silly yet crucial issue?

I admit that, at times, the fatigue and frustration have led me to wonder if we heard God right when He told us to come to Nepal and to come now.  I mean, it might have been easier if he was one or two years old, could eat anything we give him, was not so dependent on me, could understand us talking to him, could tell us his needs in a way other than fussing or crying.  But we were at church yesterday and, during worship, I felt the Lord’s confirmation.   

That struck me as odd because this particular church is basically full of missionaries from around the world and not as many Nepalis, although there are some new believers there.  We struggle with that but have decided that, during our time in Kathmandu, we are trying to get used to our very new life here and need to be fed during these first critical months.  Once we move to Tansen, we hope to reach out more to non-believing Nepalis, which should be easier once we can say more than, “My name is Leona,” or “Each day I eat dahl baht,” in the local language.   

And indeed, through the worship and listening to the Lord’s Church made of many tribes and tongues sing praise to Him, He filled me with joy and peace.  We are here, He brought us here in His timing, and nothing could be more beautiful than my little child—a gift from God—falling asleep in my arms as He nurses.

**To my dear friends reading this who are parents and have used the “Cry It Out” method, please know that I do not judge you!  These are just my own reactions and feelings.I can relate to the need to do it, and if you are reading this blog, you are someone that I love and appreciate regardless of how you get your child to sleep.